i am about to take these bags out of the house. there they are – two bags, right next to the door, packed, ready.
i am about to take these bags out of the house. (repeat as mantra.)
these words also mean: i am about to let these things out of my life. i am about to pull the circle of what is essential a little closer. or, wallace stevens, i am about to let these bags be a blackbird whose flight marks the edge of a circle… that is scariest of all.
but, tomorrow, i will still be ok, again.
with the edge of one circle, though, come reminders of other circles whose edges have been crossed. example: dulles airport, summer 2008. hard to forget letting a huge airport guard see you cry, then losing your way from the highway into an endless sprawl of carbon copy condominiums, only to arrive home and sob in the shower.